An umbrella is like a rainstick - useless when sideways.
A microwave is like Antonio Banderas’s sultry, sultry stare - it heats things up with an invisible magic.
Grizzly bears are like Greenpeace workers - if you keep moving and avoid eye contact, everything should be OK.
Ugg Boots in summer is like calculus - really, really confusing.
Being nice is like wearing pants - socially necessary but not always what you want to be doing at the moment.
Glowsticks are like masochists - break em’ in half and shake em’ up and they brighten right up.
Disney movies are like Trix cereal - meant for kids but secretly enjoyed by everyone.
The Jersey Shore cast is like a Caesar salad - they only claim to be Italian.
Cleavage is often like a Craigslist ad - false advertising when you look at the fine print.